voicemail

[cheerhealer]

"Leave a message after the beep." 

[ Also accepted: texts, emails, creepy cryptic messages, video calls, instant messaging, and picture mail. ]

Comments

Anonymous text.

[the-gun-smoker.livejournal.com]

Hello, Claire. Have you been enjoying your stay in the city? Peter has been helping you to adjust well, hasn't he? It's too bad that he will have to die. Of course, you can prevent that. I've attached a map of Skye Medical and circled the location for you. Steal all the medical supplies in that chosen area and slip them inside Naminé's room. I've enclosed her address for you as well. I will give you five days to complete this task. If you haven't finished it by the end of the fifth day, I will give you one more chance. I will not kill Peter, but he will suffer greatly. If you choose to ignore even that, then you should give him your last words.

Good luck, Claire.

P.S. A word of advice: telling or hinting to anyone about these circumstances will also have severe consequences for Peter. It doesn't matter how you do it. I will know.

8(

[cheerhealer]

[ ... well shit. ]

[paysdelamour]

[When Claire wakes up and bothers to check, she will find a gift basket addressed to her from "Saint Nicolas", complete with macarons, a small box of chocolate truffles, and calissons. There is also a small card attached to one that reads, in neat cursive handwriting much like the tag:]

To Claire. Happy Saint Nicolas' Day, and have a wonderful holiday season. With care, Saint Nicolas

(( ooc: You've received a gift basket because you bothered to post to France's post on the first. If you feel he shouldn't be able to get it to your character at their home, work, etc., for some reason, then please feel free to ignore this message. ))

[cheerhealer]

[ When she comes back from the dead on Wednesday morning, it'll definitely make her day brighter. ♥ ]

[quackery.livejournal.com]

[Ringing her up on the evening of the 21st!]

[cheerhealer]

Hello?

[endowedcaptain.livejournal.com]

[On the 24th, a package will arrive for Claire. There's a bow and a note not to open it until the 25th on it, but regardless of whether or not she chooses to follow those instructions she'll find a stuffed manatee (http://petcaretips.net/stuffed_manatee.jpg) inside, along with the following note:]

[cheerhealer]

[ Actually ...

Okay, so this is really adorable. This manatee is her new best friend. ]

Imma spam your inbox, okay?

[batmanmecha.livejournal.com]

[On Christmas morning, there will be an oddly shaped wrapped box right outside Clarie's door. Inside there will be, of all things, a cheerleader teddy bear (http://www.hotelsbycity.net/blog/eur_netherlands_utrecht/files/2007/02/build-a-bear-cheer.jpg) with a little badly handwritten card inside. It's legible. Barely.]

'Was walking by that bear building place the other day when I saw this in the window. Figured why the hell not. You mentioned you were a cheerleader back home once, I think, and honestly this is better than most of the lame gifts I get people.

Also I couldn't think of a message, so I hope you can handle my crappy singing voice.

-D.M. ;) '

[If she presses the bear's hand, there will be a lovely rendition of Duo singing the first few lines of "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas".]

Audio/Voice Mail - 28th

[batmanmecha.livejournal.com]

Hey uh... it's Duo.

I thought we were supposed to meet up after I got done with work today. Did ya stand me up or did something happen?

... gimmie a call back, okay?

Text - Dec 29th

[batmanmecha.livejournal.com]

[voice]

[12second_orz]

[Ring ring... ring ring...]

[cheerhealer]

Hello?

text;

[worldhaditsway]

How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?

text;

[cheerhealer]

Excuse me?

text; NV virus

[bloodthirsts]

We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.

text;

[cheerhealer]

What?

[text]

[vestalvogue]

Sticking Your Hands in The Toilet To Wash Your Face Is Not Acceptable
Ever
I Dont Care How Drunk You Are

[text]

[cheerhealer]

huh?

[lovelylumpylumps]

she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE t

[cheerhealer]

[ god this virus was weird ] ok?

NV VIRUS

[deathknellgrell]

I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians

text ffff

[cheerhealer]

wrong number.

[tfln virus]

[itsatrep]

Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)

text

[cheerhealer]

ok? i think youre telling the wrong person

[argentallure]

sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.

[cheerhealer]

what? is this serious or that weird virus?

nv virus; text

[renaicirculation]

thought the power was flickering but it turns out i was just blinking

text

[cheerhealer]

cool?

Text | NV Virus

[vinovidivici]

Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?

Text

[cheerhealer]

excuse me?

nv virus!

[whippings]

I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.

uh huh sure....

[cheerhealer]

maybe you should get some help for that?

haha and also this one...

[tinderfoot]

She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name

ffffff

[cheerhealer]

... sounds like fun?

text;

[ace_attorney]

There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.

text;

[cheerhealer]

i think i'll pass on that.

text;

[brigadeleader]

I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.

text;

[cheerhealer]

this virus got around quickly.

nv virus. late to the party sob

[tom_hanniger]

I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart.

HEY YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[cheerhealer]

i'm sorry, what?

Voicemail

[inthejunk]

I noticed you forgot to bring me chocolates today, Claire-san, but I think I can forgive you just this once. We can treat it like an early White day and I'll buy you a nice dinner, right?

phonecall

[cheerhealer]

[ ring ring back ]

call;

[motioned]

[Ring, ring.]

call;

[cheerhealer]

Hello?

[text] 1/2

[drinkthebleach]

its pickles the drummer from dethklok.

i need that asshole's number now. do you have it?

[text]

[drinkthebleach]

[The second text comes about half a minute later, when he realizes he didn't specify which asshole.] ...that edgeworth lawyer guy.